WHAT??

Jane's hot Cocoa season is coming soon - Hooray!! I know I will hear endless cracks from the backroom about Hot Cocoa and let me pre-empt them with this - Joe, keep your shirt on and your lips buttoned!! Thank you.

I am trying to get along in this multi-cultural world of ours but seriously - can we all get on the same page here!?!? I have enough trouble with the accents; let alone various languages.

There is one person I interact with almost daily and I RARELY understand a word she says. It is not her fault, she is from another country, has an accent and speaks softly. "Did you just ask me to buy a goat?" "Tie a boat?" "Fry a donut?" WHAT?!?!?

Even in Pearl River, at Jane's place, the lovely folks that come in with the enchanting Irish accents. I love an Irish accent, so much more fun and lively than most accents. It's rich and full of character with deep expression and passion. Have no clue what the hell any of them are talking about - EVER. WHAT?!?!?

Then there was the Polish cleaning woman and her crew, also from Pearl River, who spoke 100 mph and had a thick accent that actually resulted in me calling her by the wrong name for two years. She just gave up on me understanding and answered to the misnomer. To hear her speak you would think map and mop were the same word. Box and Backs - exactly the same. There was no differentiation between the letters a, o and u with this woman; you can imagine the chaos. Or is that Chaoooos.WHAT?!?!?!

I once worked with a man from the Ukraine that told me he had an AUDI TT. I was appalled and told him that he had given me entirely too much information. I had heard of an Outy Belly Button but never an Outy Titty and frankly that just sounded painful. Why I had to sit through "Sensitivity Training" and not him was completely a mystery to me. WHAT?!!?!

I did not grow up here and some people think I have an accent.
I was once in charge of orienting a new co-worker. She was young and perky, very sweet. I took her to lunch in the cafeteria to show her around the edible sections and noticed a young girl dressed in thigh high black boots and a mini-skirt. Immediately I thought, Oh boy! Let's just get this over with in case my new young co-worker gets any ideas that wearing this type of apparel is ok.

So I said to my young protege, "Would you get a look at her boots?" and then raised an eyebrow as if to say - definite no-no. She looked back at me with the oddest look I have ever seen. We sat down and at this point I realize she looks scared; I am guessing this is her entire wardrobe - hoochie mama/dance club outfits. So I ask her, "You don't have a pair of those same boots do you?" Relief washed across her face and she laughed,"Oh thank God, I misunderstood you the first time - you said `BOOTS' not BOOBS!"
She is now one of my dearest friends!

Auf wiedersehen